It's what Christmas means to me, my love

Here's a brief history of the life and times of Ashley Haggard.  In my short 25 years, I have celebrated a Colonial Christmas, a New York Christmas, a Christmas I can't remember and experienced the winter holidays of my friends.  However, 22 of my 25 Christmases have been spent in the blessed halls of Trinity Episcopal Church.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.

To me, Trinity offers what Christmas is all about.  From the greenery and candles to the carols and brass to the traditional Christmas Eucharist and the chance to ring in the Christmas season with people I have known my whole life.  One Christmas event has, as many could guess, shaped me more than any other.  The first time I experienced the Children's Pageant at Trinity I was three years old.  I don't remember that Christmas but my mother does, and by the next year I was standing up front with my halo and wings just like all the other little angels.  And I never looked back.  From the age of three until I was in the eighth grade, my family didn't miss a single pageant.  I have played every part from angel to inn keeper's wife to Mary (the highlight of any little girl's pageant experience).  By the time I was 9, I could quote you the entire pageant, line for line.

As a child, the pageant is what brought Christmas to life for me.  While my friends pretended to be elves or Maria from the Nutcracker, I was practicing my perfect angel posture.  While they waited on pins and needles for "Jingle Bells", I couldn't wait until it was time for "O Come All Ye Faithful" and "Once in a royal City David".  The Christmas story as told through the pageant both old and the newer rendition we started using a few years ago, allows children to take center stage in the liturgy and become fully immersed in what Christmas really means.

Don't get me wrong, my family firmly believes in the power of Santa.  My grandmother's name was Virginia after all.  But when my family prepares for Christmas, instead of sugar plums, we see visions of angels, shepherds and a little wooden donkey named Bueford (didn't know he had a name did ya?).  That is my family's way of celebrating the birth of the Christ child.  For many Trinity families, the pageant is a part of their holiday traditions too.  Whether you have children currently in the pageant or your children are grown and you look back fondly on those Christmases past, it's a part of the Spirit of Christmas.

Every family has their own traditions, mine is a little different than most.  In 2003, I asked if I could help with the Christmas pageant.  By 2004, I was the new director.  For the past six years, my family and I have spent our Advent season preparing the best Christmas pageant we could for Trinity as our way of thanking you all for everything Trinity has given to us.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.  Over the last two decades, there have been new scripts and characters, new sets and costumes, but the heart of the pageant has always remained the same- "And behold, I bring you good tidings of great Joy.  Today in the City of David is born to you a Savior; he is Christ the Lord."

From the Haggard Family, Merry Christmas and thank you for your love and support.  And whatever service you attend this Christmas or however you chose to spend it, celebrate tradition and love and good tidings of great joy.

                          

Tis the season...

A giant inflatable Tigger... with a Santa hat...  That's what greeted me as I drove down my street after picking up a little more Halloween candy for the impending trick-or-treaters.  That's right, one of my neighbors was out on the beautiful All Hallows Eve PUTTING UP HIS CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!  And we're not just talking about getting a jump on the lights and then leaving them off until Thanksgiving.  No, he lives almost on the opposite end of the street from me and at any given point you can see his inflatable animal, candy cane sleigh filled, Santa's workshop ferris wheel covered yard.

A few things about this bother me.  First, I love the holiday season as much as the next person, but it's not even Thanksgiving.  On top of that, there is no nativity anywhere in that yard.  Just elves and polar bears and reindeer (oh my!).  Now, I'm not one to go all evangelical but the saying "Let's put the Christ back in Christmas" rings a bell.  Also, Advent, the season that is about to start in the church, is a time of preparation and waiting, so why rush the one time of year that we theologically don't have to.  And this is the theme of today's blog.

With the holiday rush, we tend to lose sight of what Advent is all about.  We get caught up in baking cookies, thinking about turkey, digging through the garage to find decorations and the "Big Toy Book" and forget to prepare.  That is what Advent season is all about.  Preparing our hearts and minds for the birth of Christ.  The symbolic rebirth of our faith comes with all the tinsel and holly and sparkle so it tends to get lost in the shuffle.  With all the loud sights and sounds comes a quiet peep.  A small cry in the wilderness.  A babe comes to bring us closer to God.  The wise men understood this.  That's why they traveled for who knows how long to see this child.  A child who on the outside seemed completely normal, but on the inside was something much more.


My family is big on tradition.  When we were younger, my siblings and I would wait on pins and needles to go get our Christmas tree.  We would watch as our friends' families would put their trees up and hang their stockings and drive our parents crazy with "can we go to the Christmas tree lot NOW?"  As we've gotten older, we've come to understand that the reason we wait until the week before Christmas to get our tree and decorate it has less to do with our busy schedule and more to do with intention.  Preparing the tree is my family's way of being intentional about preparing for Jesus' birth.  As we heat apple cider and tell stories about our family heirlooms around the tree, we are preparing our spirits for something magical.  Not Santa, although we do still receive presents from him every year, even though we are all in our twenties.  We are preparing ourselves for the most spectacular gift ever offered to human kind-- the gift of love in human form, Jesus Christ.


Advent Sunday is the Sunday after Thanksgiving this year.  After your family gathers in the Great Hall to decorate wreaths, eat cookies and make Christmas crafts, spend some time being intentional with your children about what Advent really means.  Take time out of the hustle and bustle to prepare your homes and your hearts for Christ.  Make room for new holiday traditions that stress the importance of being intentional.  Don't rush through things.  Whether it's explaining to your child why baby Jesus is not in the nativity yet or what each candle on the Advent wreath means, slow down and take in what is truly important about the holiday season.


Family.  Intention.  Love.

Goblins and witches and ghouls, OH MY!

Halloween seems like it came a little faster this year and there are a few facts about this holiday that remain constant year to year:

1) It will be cold in Tulsa (thankfully this year we'll avoid the rain).

2) Candy is the only thing on the brain of anyone aged 3-93 (bless teachers' hearts, I don't know how they survive).

3) You are guaranteed to see a baby dressed as a pumpkin, a man dressed as a woman and a kid dressed as a hippie (these are classics.  Always have been, always will be).

Most people see All Hallows Eve as an opportunity to dress up, act silly and go into a sugar induced coma.  I, being the odd little spook that I am, take Halloween very seriously.  I have to watch "It's the Great Pumpkin , Charlie Brown" and listen to Monster Mash and I MUST eat as much candy as I can get my hands on.  But I also love Halloween for another reason.  It is the Eve of one of my favorite church holidays.  I know, Halloween and church, what you talkin' 'bout Ashley? (So maybe I will forgo my plans to be Arnold Jackson this year).

Halloween, or All Hallow's Eve, is the precursor to All Saint's Day, traditionally celebrated by the church on November 1.   In some denominations, such as Catholicism, it is a day for commemorating those who have been beatified as Saints.  For myself growing up in the Episcopal sphere, it was a day spent talking about how each and every one of us, through our daily actions, can be "saints" too.  We sang "This Little Light of Mine" and talked about things that made us saintlike.  As a child, the idea that by not fighting with my siblings and helping do the dishes could make me more saint-like was almost as fascinating as my parents giving me one day a year to eat myself sick on pixi sticks, candy corn and mini snickers.

Think about it.  We talk all the time about treating our neighbors like Christ would, right?  Well, for all intents and purposes Christ is kind of the ultimate Saint.  The dictionary defines a saint as:

1. a person who has died and has been declared a saint by canonization 
2. person of exceptional holiness
3. model of excellence or perfection of a kind; one having no equal

We can all agree that Jesus was a person of exceptional holiness AND a model of excellence or perfection.  Behaving Christlike, or Saintlike, as the case might be, doesn't mean being perfect.  I'm sure Joan of Arc got into fights with her dad when she didn't want to take the trash out.  Being Saintlike is more concerned with going the extra mile for your neighbor and reaching out to those in need.

So Sunday, when the kids are getting in to their fireman, doctor or superhero costumes, talk to them about Hymn #293...

1. I sing a song of the saints of God,
patient and brave and true,
who toiled and fought and lived and died
for the Lord they loved and knew.
And one was a doctor, and one was a queen,
and one was a shepherdess on the green:
they were all of them saints of God--and I mean,
God helping, to be one too.

2. They loved their Lord so dear, so dear,
and his love made them strong;
and they followed the right, for Jesus' sake,
the whole of their good lives long.
And one was a soldier, and one was a priest,
and one was slain by a fierce wild beast:
and there's not any reason, no, not the least
why I shouldn't be one too.

3. They lived not only in ages past,
there are hundreds of thousands still;
the world is bright with the joyous saints
who love to do Jesus' will.
You can meet them in school, or in lanes, or at sea,
in church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea;
for the saints of God are just folk like me,
and I mean to be one too.

I felt the Earth move...

A little shake.  A little change.  Sometimes that's all it takes to transform a religious experience.  When Church Down Under started a over a year ago, it definitely shook things up.  It has given children a different way to worship than the more traditional forms.  It has given them a place to move a little- to stretch their spiritual legs.

Psychology studies have found that everyone learns differently.  Throughout middle school the "multiple intelligences" theory was pounded in to my head-- bodily-kinesthetic, visual-spacial, linguistic-verbal, logical-mathematical, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal and naturalistic.  The theory goes that everyone learns differently, sometimes in a combination of these intelligences and if we learn to acknowledge these intelligences in one another, we can understand each other better.

I think the same thing relates to spirituality.  Some people worship more deeply in quiet meditation, some worship through music, others through fellowship.  Thus, it would only make sense that some would worship best through movement.  Church Down Under fills that opportunity for children.  For the Little family, being able to physically relate worship has been an eye-opening experience for their children.

       "The music is a particular highlight of the service because the kids have the chance to move freely in the space, play with noise making toys or instruments, and follow the choreography that each song incorporates.  It’s a joy to see the children engaged in these songs in a way that they wouldn’t have a chance to be in Church upstairs.
  
Another of our favorite practices is the washing of the stones to represent the washing away of our sins.  It has given us a visual example that the children can understand in helping us teach them about God’s forgiveness of our sins.  It encourages participation with by placing the stones into the basin and the act of pouring the water over them which is performed by the kids themselves. 


We have seen a significant increase in the willingness of our shy 5 year-old to participate in all of the wonderful activities that take place at the Church Down Under.  It is a welcoming and comfortable environment that really encourages family growth and sharing.  We simply love it."

So whether we sing, dance, sit silently or play as a way to worship, it all translates the same in God's eyes.

Breaking bread, opening minds...

The first few blogs have been written by Ashley Haggard, with the insights from a few parishioners.  This week, Becky Moseman, Director of Youth and Young Adults, writes about the transforming experience Church Down Under has been for her children.

As a parent I often wonder, “Is my son or daughter really getting anything out of church?” when they surprise me.  When my son was two he made it known that he wanted to take communion.  Not so much in his words; he walked up to the priest like everyone else and wondered why he didn’t get the host, the bread of heaven, that Mommy did.  He’d look at the plate and look at me and I saw the question in his eyes- “why don’t I get any?”  I knew then that my son got what communion was about.  Even adults can get lost in or argue over the theological mystery of the Eucharistic feast, but the main idea that we come together as a community to worship and break bread together, my son understood.  Who am I to intervene in God’s work in my child?  If exclusion is my big beef with other denominations can I really exclude my son from taking communion?  In reflection on this and other children-in-church anecdotes, several thoughts became clear.  Children, much like adults, gravitate to certain parts of worship they find meaningful and going to church means participating in those things.  For some it is music, while others it is the lighting of prayer candles.  For my son, at age two, it was receiving communion.  It was an active part of the service he could physically engage in- we walked up to the front of the church, crossed ourselves, held out our hands, and something special was given to us. 

Our children are spiritual beings.  There is no switch we turn on to activate their curiosity about the world and its creator.  They don’t separate their openness to the Holy Spirit so why should I think they do, or maybe I should ask, why do I?  These little ones want to serve as Christ told us we are supposed to.  Our baptismal covenant asks us to guide our children in their spiritual journeys until they feel they are ready to take over their own spiritual nourishment.  Watching my son, I saw he was already taking responsibility, one step at a time. 

Last year, we started a family oriented service.  Church Down Under as it is called came out of watching children like my son and thinking up ways children could connect to other parts of our liturgy in a tangible way.  From conversations with other parents, I’ve heard repeatedly that these children look forward to and are eager to participate in the service through these hands-on experiences.  Writing a prayer on a card we read aloud for our Prayers of the People and hanging it on our prayer wall or washing away our sins on our confession stones we put in a glass bowl, physically engage all who participate.  The shocking part is that the adults feel they have really been to worship during the service too.  Instead of herding children from under the pew the families are acting out the gospel or figuring out a way to rewrite the story so that the rich man could have been a good neighbor to Lazarus.  I watch my daughter who just turned three to see what is important to her.  She must put her rock in the bowl, and while she was into “The Little Mermaid,” we prayed a lot for “The Sea Witch” who made a lot of bad choices.  Communion is important to my daughter too.  This time I’m not wrestling her in the pew to sit or entertain her with toys brought from home.  Instead I watch her to see the ways in which she is open to Holy Spirit, and that is truly a spiritual experience.

I say a little prayer for you

Think about the things people pray for.  As grown-ups, it's usually big, important things.  Often when we pray, we're asking for something-- for guidance, for help, for change.  We pray when we're upset or hurt or afraid.  We pray when we're lost or alone.  But that probably wasn't always the case.  There was a time in our lives when all our prayers were much simpler, but no less important.
Every Sunday, at the beginning of the 9 and 11 am services, children follow the crucifer down the aisle to Children's Chapel, their own special time with God.  During Children's Chapel, children receive their very own version of what's going on downstairs in the narthex.  But upstairs, the stories come from a children's bible, the sermon consists of a craft and the prayers are adapted to teach them the concepts that our faith is founded on, while putting it in terms that children are familiar with.
If you ask any Children's Chapel leader they will tell you the same thing.  The way that children pray is very different than adults.  Ask a group of children what they would like to pray for and you will get responses like "my dog" or "my grandma because she makes the best cookies" or "sunshine".  They want to talk to God about the simple pleasures in life, the things that make them smile or laugh.  Very rarely do they express stress or sadness in their petitions.  When they talk to God, it's a conversation of thanks for the little things in life.
Next time you feel overwhelmed or stressed, try taking a lesson from a child.  Talk to God.  Tell God what you need.  But end by giving thanks for the cool breeze while you mow the lawn, or that moment when you get home and your dog can hardly contain herself she's so excited to see you.
 Let me leave you with a little prayer from the Children's Chapel curriculum.  This is the Children's Creed (a children's version of the Nicene Creed.)

I believe in God above.
I believe in  Jesus love.
I believe his Spirit, too,
Comes to tell us what to do.
I believe that I can be,
Kind and gentle, Lord like thee.
Amen.

In the beginning...

Sacraments.  You may or may not know what those are.  For those who don't, the "Outline of the Faith" in the BCP defines it as "outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace"(BCP, pg. 857).  There are seven big ones recognized by the church (Baptism, Eucharist, confirmation, ordination, marriage, reconciliation and unction).
So why, if those are sacraments, am I giving you a Catechism lesson?  And why name a blog focused on children and youth "Living Sacraments"?  Because to me, and I hope that many of you would agree, sacraments are much more than the big events that mark one's life.  They are the ordinary, day-to-day activities which shape us and help us discern the "big ones".  Without the basic building blocks of faith can we ever reach the Sacraments that the church lays out for us in the back of the BCP?
The goal of this blog is to let those who don't have children, whose children are grown, or for those who are just curious, know just what is going on in those classrooms on the third floor, or on pilgrimages, or downstairs at the church down under.  This is meant to be from the perspective of the ones who live it- the parents, the teachers and most important from the kids.
If you've ever spent time wandering around Trinity, as I have for the last 24 years of my life, you might have noticed the scripture carved in to the stone above the doors of the church.  "Mine house shall be called an house of prayer for all people."  This scripture from Isaiah calls us to embrace even the most meek to come and pray among us.  Godly Play is the Sunday school program we use for children at Trinity.  Through this program, children learn to be a part of the church through lessons and stories.  Greg and Susie Cross put their daughter in Godly Play to help her learn about the church service so she could participate.  Greg told us about his daughter's experience with Godly Play:

"I asked my daughter what it was that she liked about Godly Play at Trinity.  Megan, who is six, had a very interesting answer.  'They have good stories about Jesus and God, then we have playtime and then we get to go with Mom and Dad.'  So I asked her what she liked about the stories, and her answer was 'I like having two stories in one day about Jesus and God – one in Sunday school and one in Church!'  I sure am glad that she is enjoying learning about God and that Godly Play is a two-for-one deal!"


It just goes to show that even though it may sometimes seem that we've heard a scripture a thousand times, there's someone listening, maybe with tiny ears, who finds it new and exciting.  If we all take the enthusiasm that Megan has fostered through Godly Play toward the scripture, we might learn something new and exciting ourselves.