As a parent I often wonder, “Is my son or daughter really getting anything out of church?” when they surprise me. When my son was two he made it known that he wanted to take communion. Not so much in his words; he walked up to the priest like everyone else and wondered why he didn’t get the host, the bread of heaven, that Mommy did. He’d look at the plate and look at me and I saw the question in his eyes- “why don’t I get any?” I knew then that my son got what communion was about. Even adults can get lost in or argue over the theological mystery of the Eucharistic feast, but the main idea that we come together as a community to worship and break bread together, my son understood. Who am I to intervene in God’s work in my child? If exclusion is my big beef with other denominations can I really exclude my son from taking communion? In reflection on this and other children-in-church anecdotes, several thoughts became clear. Children, much like adults, gravitate to certain parts of worship they find meaningful and going to church means participating in those things. For some it is music, while others it is the lighting of prayer candles. For my son, at age two, it was receiving communion. It was an active part of the service he could physically engage in- we walked up to the front of the church, crossed ourselves, held out our hands, and something special was given to us.
Our children are spiritual beings. There is no switch we turn on to activate their curiosity about the world and its creator. They don’t separate their openness to the Holy Spirit so why should I think they do, or maybe I should ask, why do I? These little ones want to serve as Christ told us we are supposed to. Our baptismal covenant asks us to guide our children in their spiritual journeys until they feel they are ready to take over their own spiritual nourishment. Watching my son, I saw he was already taking responsibility, one step at a time.
Last year, we started a family oriented service. Church Down Under as it is called came out of watching children like my son and thinking up ways children could connect to other parts of our liturgy in a tangible way. From conversations with other parents, I’ve heard repeatedly that these children look forward to and are eager to participate in the service through these hands-on experiences. Writing a prayer on a card we read aloud for our Prayers of the People and hanging it on our prayer wall or washing away our sins on our confession stones we put in a glass bowl, physically engage all who participate. The shocking part is that the adults feel they have really been to worship during the service too. Instead of herding children from under the pew the families are acting out the gospel or figuring out a way to rewrite the story so that the rich man could have been a good neighbor to Lazarus. I watch my daughter who just turned three to see what is important to her. She must put her rock in the bowl, and while she was into “The Little Mermaid,” we prayed a lot for “The Sea Witch” who made a lot of bad choices. Communion is important to my daughter too. This time I’m not wrestling her in the pew to sit or entertain her with toys brought from home. Instead I watch her to see the ways in which she is open to Holy Spirit, and that is truly a spiritual experience.
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